Most of us have had to put up with at least one hater. Unfortunately, the more successful we are, the more we will attract them. It seems as if success and haters go hand-in-hand. But just because they will always be around doesn’t mean you must put up with their nonsense.
As they say, “haters gonna hate.” They aren’t going to change, so you will need to devise ways to keep them from making your life as miserable as their own lives are and do it without dragging yourself down to their level. This is not always as easy as it seems because there may be times when you simply want to tell the haters exactly where to go and how to get there. But that would make you no better than them.
Today, we will look at several ways to deal with people who are only trying to bring you down with their negativity. Let’s get started.
- What is a Hater?
- How to Shut Down Haters
- Eliminate the Haters from Your Life
- Show Them Empathy
- Treat Them With Kindness
- Know that You Can’t Change Anyone but Yourself
- Grow a Thicker Skin
- Understand Jealousy
- Use Their Hate as Motivation for Yourself
- Talk to the Haters
- Show Gratitude Instead of Reacting
- Practice Self-Love
- Block Online Haters and Trolls
What is a Hater?
So, what exactly is a hater? Most people don’t start out in life as haters. They become haters because of the way their lives have gone. For instance, if someone has a lot of insecurities, chances are they will project their feelings onto others by trying to bring them down just to make themselves feel better. Other reasons why some people become haters include:
- They have abandonment issues
- They have faced many disappointments in life-changing
- They are afraid of being left behind by successful friends and family members
- They have feelings of inadequacy
- They haven’t achieved their goals
- They never had positive role models
- They were the victims of bullies
Many people become haters because of jealousy. When someone is jealous of another person’s success, they often look for ways to attack the successful person. For instance, they may either subtly or overtly insult that person. Let’s look at a few more types of envy attacks.
- Using “humor” to mock another’s achievements and/or beliefs
- Copying what others do and then trying to outdo them
- Undermining opinions to cause others to doubt themselves
- Getting pleasure from watching others fail
- Trying to provoke adverse reactions from others
How to Shut Down Haters
No one should ever have to put up with haters in their lives. Unfortunately, the haters are often close family members, so keeping them out of our lives can be challenging. So, we need to learn how to best deal with haters, so they don’t bring us down to their level.
Here are some tips that will help to make it easier for you to deal with any haters in your life.
Eliminate the Haters from Your Life
It is best to eliminate all haters from your life whenever possible. Sure, there will be some you can’t get rid of, such as close family members, but you get the idea. Ask yourself if this person really is essential in your life. If not, look for ways to start distancing yourself from the hater. You don’t need to feel any obligation toward them, and chances are, they aren’t going to miss you very much when you are not around.
Show Them Empathy
We talked about the fact that many haters only hate because they are jealous of others or they are not happy in their own lives. Rather than getting angry with them, try showing them some empathy instead. The saying, “be kind because you never know what someone else is going through,” is correct and words to live by.
Maybe you can sit down and talk to them about why they are so hateful. Or, if this is not possible, simply show them kindness, even when they are not kind. It could be that your acts of kindness will rub off on them eventually.
Treat Them With Kindness
Many haters don’t realize they are haters. They have been so full of hate for so long that it is just a part of who they are. They have many negative emotions, and they may be very insecure. You can counteract their hatefulness by killing them with kindness.
When you respond to negativity with more negativity, it feeds that fire. You can smother the fire by treating haters with kindness. In fact, you may be surprised at how a few acts of kindness can turn a hater into someone you want to be around.
Show them love. Give them compliments. Help them with chores. Invite them out for a drink or a bite to eat. Listen to them talk about themselves and their problems.
Know that You Can’t Change Anyone but Yourself
There are very few things in life that we can control, and this includes other people. What we can control is how we react and behave.
Let’s say someone is jealous of your accomplishments. This doesn’t mean you should stop trying to achieve things. No matter what you do, there is no way you will change the way a hater thinks. They will never get anywhere if they are unwilling to work hard to achieve their goals.
In such cases, the best thing is to be true to yourself. Don’t worry about what the haters think. Keep on doing what you are doing and continue succeeding. It doesn’t matter if everyone doesn’t like you.
Just as there will always be haters, there will always be people who care about you and want you to succeed. Focus on these people rather than the haters; worry about your life, first and foremost.
Grow a Thicker Skin
Sometimes, you must learn how to deal with the haters in your life. You don’t have to bring yourself down to their level, but remember to ignore them when they are trying to get you riled up.
The more you can brush off what they say and do, the happier you will be in your own life. Also, not reacting to their hate is going to drive them crazy!
Often, haters say things to hurt other people and make them feel bad. The best revenge is to keep living your best life and ignoring what the haters have to say. Be like a duck, and they can be the water that simply washes right off your back.
We all have feelings of jealousy from time to time. It happens to the best of us. The best way to deal with a jealous person is to understand their jealousy. For example, look at yourself. Chances are there is someone you are jealous of for one reason or another.
The more you can understand your own jealousy, the better able you will be to understand the envy of others. Remember, if someone is jealous of you, it is because they want what you have, want to be like you, or want to keep you from succeeding so they won’t feel as badly about their failures.
Use Their Hate as Motivation for Yourself
Many find that the more people hate them, the more it motivates them to do better. This is because it is only natural for people to want to prove others wrong. Often, when someone is trying to better themselves, the haters come out of the woodwork because they cannot do the same for themselves.
These are the people who fear change, and they have deep-rooted fears and insecurities. They project jealousy when they are likely more afraid of being left behind than anything else.
But, if they won’t do anything to help themselves get ahead, it is not up to you to do it for them. All you can do is worry about yourself, and if someone tells you that you can’t do something, let their words motivate you so that you will be able to do it.
Talk to the Haters
In most cases, haters are trying to provoke a negative reaction out of you. Don’t give in to what they want. Instead, turn their negativity into something more positive.
When they say something hateful, come back at them by saying something nice. This will go one of two ways. Either they will start to be nicer because they like how people are nice to them, or they will simply begin hating someone else.
Being nice to a hater will make them feel as though they are being heard, which could be what they need to turn them into nicer people. When you are nice to them and give them a bit of acknowledgment, they will often become much less angry.
Another option is to thank them. If they insult you, thank them for their feedback and let them know that you will work on being better.
Show Gratitude Instead of Reacting
Have you ever noticed that it seems as though only successful people actually have haters? This is because haters are miserable in their own lives and hate to see others succeeding when they are not succeeding. So, if someone throws a lot of hate your way, know that you are likely doing something very right in your life.
The best thing you can do is to turn their hate and negativity into something positive. They hate your success, so make sure you are grateful for all that you have in life.
You have worked hard to get where you are, and to know that others are jealous or hateful because of your own success is to know that you need to continue along the path you are already on.
The most important person to worry about in your life is you. It might bother you at least a little if you have haters. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be trying to learn how to deal with the haters in your life. Maybe it’s time to practice a bit of self-love and make sure that you will not become depressed or sad about how a hater is treating you.
You need to keep telling yourself that you are on your own path and that everyone else must follow their own paths. There will always be ups and downs, and there will always be people who love you and those who hate you.
The trick is to surround yourself with those you love and who love you unconditionally. Take time to love yourself, just for your own emotional well-being.
Block Online Haters and Trolls
There are going to be times when you just can’t avoid haters. Then, there are those times when you can simply block them from your life. For instance, you don’t have to put up with haters and trolls online. You can easily block them from your social media, and they won’t be able to comment on your posts with hurtful words any longer.
Look at their profile the next time you encounter a troll or hater online. Chances are that they do not have any photos of themselves or that it is a fake profile. Some people seem to have nothing better to do than troll others online daily. Block them and move on rather than indulge them.
While you can’t always eliminate the haters from your life, you can positively deal with them and not allow their hatred to affect you in any way. You might even want to try to help them love themselves more, and they may end up being much less hateful toward you and others.